Side Effects

From the weekly beer:30 our group has on Fridays came this great quote, while we were talking about Guy1’s upcoming baby:

Guy1: (Talking about how ovulation testers are wonderful..)
Guy2: Are there any side effects?
Guy1: Uh, you pee on a stick. Side effect: You peed on your hand…
Guy2: Oh…

Free Boxes…

Not quite “heard over the cubicle wall”, but quite a hilarious series of emails—from the same guy—on Yahoo!’s internal stuff-for-sale email list:

16:09 – “FREE: Boxes” – “I have a ton (not literally) of boxes…”
17:17 – “REMOVED! — FREE: Boxes” — “I’m sorry this has been removed because my dog just peed on the boxes! I can’t believe it…”
17:40 – “FREE: Chocolate Lab Mix” – “She is a beautiful 2 year old chocolate labrador mix. She can catch frisbees in the Air. She is extremely gentle with children and is very very good with other animals…”

I’ll leave it up to the reader to determine why the dog is no longer wanted. :)

Disparity with the Advertised Flavor

Today, on Yahoo Messenger, a coworker was relating the story of a mysterious candy…

Guy: anyway he will try to sell you on the scientific merits of eating this particular candy
Guy: don’t believe him, it’s all lies
Guy: just a warning.
Me: haha
Me: not very good eh?
Guy: First off, they are incredibly chalky.
Guy: Second, they don’t taste anything like the advertised flavor (peach cobbler, key lime pie, etc.)
Guy: Third, the primary ingredient (mannitol) is a laxative.
Guy: also used to cut heroin, but that’s neither here nor there.
Me: haha
Guy: anyway they are some seriously gross and wrong candy.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent. :)