Dear crackhead: Thanks. Yes, I really appreciated my first words of the morning to be “motherfucker!”, I needed that. So, thanks for doing a few hundred dollars in damage to my Jeep in order to steal $20 worth of socket sets. I hope you got a few bucks from the pawn shop for those.

Oh, and by the way: The door was unlocked. And uh, that window unzips from the outside. Stupid fucker.