Category Archives: Quotes

Watch Your Eyes

There’s a perfectly good word that should be used more than it is in America. The word I have in mind is “mind”. As in, “mind the step”, “mind the gap”, “mind your children” and many other useful phrases you’ll hear in England.

This comes to my attention because I have heard the following spoken several times onboard Southwest Airlines planes:

Flight Attendant: We’ll now be turning the lights back up, so watch your eyes.

How, exactly, does one watch their eyes? This is exactly the case where America’s usage of “watch” instead of “mind” completely breaks down. Forget, for a moment, the mental picture of someone staring intently at a step, merely following the directions on the “watch the step” sign. In this case it not only makes no sense, it’s impossible to actually watch your own eyes.

Come on, Southwest. Mind your eyes.

Disrespectful

On a Southwest flight from Cleveland to Las Vegas we had a stop in Nashville. One of the passengers that got on in Nashville left me with this nugget which I won’t soon forget:

Guy: Y’all aint seen nobody wid a towel on they head, ‘av ya?
Me: *blank, disbelieving stare*
Guy: Ah, OK just lemme know if you do.

He then proceeded to take up at least 4 inches of my personal space for the entire duration of a four-hour flight. That, however, is another story.

Heard Over The Cubicle Wall

I added a new category, “HOTCW”, or “Heard over the cubicle wall”.

This is where I will place things heard at work. Nothing confidential of course. :) To start out:

Guy1: Pole Dancing is an Olympic sport now, you know.
Guy2: Really?
Guy3: No, that’s Pole VAULTING.