I wish you could come back, em dash. Nobody knows how to use you anymore—and I miss you.

I think what finally killed you was Microsoft Word. They tried to be smart, they tried to create their own standard. They tried but they failed, and you were the casualty. Now all we get are underscores and question marks, and the occasional gibberish, when we could be seeing beautiful em dashes.

Even the Washington Post often can’t figure you out:

“I feel his language is encouraging _ he seems to be discovering a reality, the same reality that I see,” said NAACP President Bruce Gordon.

You’re a complex little beast, but I was your friend. I still want to be your friend. Come back to me, em dash.