Today I started the first of my upcoming travels. I am now sitting at Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky airport, waiting for my flight to New York. The story starts…

The flights from Akron/Canton Regional Airport to Cincinnati are always on quite small planes, usually Canadair Regional Jets. Today’s flight was on a CRJ70. These planes are by no means large, and as a somewhat large guy, I’m about the largest person that can quite comfortably ride in one. My ass fits in the seat with a bit of room to spare, but they are by no means spacious.

Because of Murphy’s, or someone else’s law, a statement like the above always means that someone will board the plane who, logically, should not. Today there was a rather large woman, perhaps 450 lbs. or so, who boarded the plane. Remember my comments regarding the seat size…

So, this woman comes in, plops down, centered on both seats on her side of the plane, and proceeds to fan herself with her onward boarding card. Everyone is thinking “I feel sorry for whoever gets to sit with her”, but noone is saying it. Along comes the lucky victim passenger, and they size up their options: Be perfectly reasonable and demand another seat (of which there are none); or, suck it up and sit through a 40-minute flight with someone else’s fat overflowing onto your person. They chose the second option.

After the other passenger sits down in her seat and tries to pull themselves into the smallest space possible against the window, the large woman starts backing herself back into the seat. It’s inevitable, and she and the other passenger are now very good friends.

Don’t get me wrong. I know plenty of large people, and I love them. There’s nothing wrong with being big, but you have to have reasonable expectations. Call the airline ahead of time and ask about the seats. Weigh whether it’s worth the inconvenience to yourself and the other passengers, and the embarrassment which will surely result from having unreasonable expections. Be honest with yourself!