California has a lot of freaks. I wouldn’t say that I’m the most normal guy in the world… but if you’re ever feeling abnormal, just move to California and all your fears of abnormalcy will subside. Tonight, while at the local Safeway, Adrienne and I saw the following:

1. A drunk guy crashing his bike in the parking lot, then screaming and cursing at passing cars while he was trying (unsuccessfully) to get up.
2. By far the weirdest thing of the night: There was a guy, whom we estimated to be around 35, with two girls that must’ve been maybe 18 at the most. He was taking them around the store and they were choosing food together. He was very friendly with them both, and they were giggling a lot. Sugar daddy? Nutritionist? Threesome? Father? I can’t figure it out.
3. There was a homeless lady who had taken up camp at a table near one of the exits.
4. Near the same exit with the homeless lady, we saw a completely done-up Elvis impersonator wandering around. He was cool.
5. When we got in line to check out, the people behind us had spaghetti noodles and a container of sauce. We overheard the woman saying something like “should I put it up my shirt?”. When they got to the checkout, they paid for… just sauce. Spaghetti thieves?
6. A guy renting a carpet cleaner, paying cash. Who rents a carpet cleaner at 10pm on a Friday night? A murderer?